this will never be the same.
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There is this guy who has asked to meet up with me like 9 times but when he says meet up, he means stay at mine in Notts for like 4 days.
I’ve put it off by like 4 weeks and he keeeeps asking and he always asks the same question like last night we were talking about how I’m going to the moto GP and he was like ‘got anything planned for the rest of the week then?’ and I’m like duuude am I seriously that uninteresting?
It’s annoying.
I can’t wait to move back.

Anon was right though.

I got drunk texted by a drug dealer from Camden the other day. Now that is what you call bizarre.



He so pretty.

you missed off the s at the beginning of this post about me

*She so pretty.

He so pretty.

Really boring.

Getting boring.

Right so I must tell you about this thing called Reading Festival.
It was amazing. Like totally amazing.
Ok so we got there, went to brown, set up camp and then moved to red. That was not a fun time.
Beth and I stole a sofa thing by sitting on it in the next door neighbours campsite. They became our best friends for the weekend and they were all pretty hot. We made a fire. We danced and sung and stuff. I went to bed three times and decided I wasn’t sleepy so continuously got out of bed and joined them again. Drunk too much beer. Ended up in a tent with Lloyd/Captain Hook/Jared Leto/Peter Burke. No sexy no sexy but I woke up with just my top half on which was bizarre. I literally cannot remember which bands I saw that day. It went something like The Skints, Vampire Weekend and then Jamie T. I was very very drunk for all of this. Got into the crowd for Jamie T and saw a guy with some totally awesome sunglasses so of course I go up to him and then he’s like YO I TOTALLY FOLLOW YOU ON TUMBLR and I was like wooooaaahhhh I am so tumblr famous~~~ (friendlikey0u). Then Jamie T was fucking amazing ohhhhhh my god. I was a very happy chappy. Theeennnnnn, I went back to his camp, stole some of their wine because I’m a prick and then I went back to my camp I think and got more booze, went to QOTSA. Got right close to the front with Patrick and Josh (their actual names are Jack and Ryan but one looked like Patrick Stump and one looked like Josh Franchesci (I’m not sure I spelled that right)). After three songs I totally went and watched The Courteeners and they were fucking amazing. Took a lot of selfies and it was awesome. Then I went home to get more drunk I think and end up in Lloyd’s tent again. Only kisses. Theeennnnn in the moaning we started drinking again. At some point we went to Sainsburys and I bought 30 more cans. In total I took 54 cans fuck. Yeah that was fun. I literally cannot remember who I saw except from WAIT I met up with Kathryn and we had a chat whilst listening to Don Broco. Oh I also saw LTA and Cage The Elephant who were pretty cool. Urm I just cannot remember much. Saw BBC and AM of course even though I was feeling really rough and I was shivering it was so cold. Went to a shitty silent disco. Went home, got more drunk. Ended up staying up with Lloyd and two Brazilian girls who just supplied us with weed which was wonderful. We stayed up until 6am -_- went to bed, nothing happened again aren’t I good? Got up, drunk more. I can’t even remember. Lloyd bought a guitar. Kim got hella drunk, that was humorous. George threw a load of cans at my head the prick. There was a naked walking man which I totally have a photo of urrrrmmmm. Went and saw Macklemore who was fucking awesome oh my god. Then Blink aaannndddd it was cold. Went on the fun house thing which was hilarious. Went to the silent disco for like half hour. Went back, started drinking again. Then it got cold and we went to bed. I was chatting utter crap to Jared Leto and said things like ‘Why is rain?’ And other random crap. Then the sexy time did the thing and I was so awkward and giggly and dorky oh my god I felt like a virgin again it was bad but I totally got laid so that’s always fun. Ben heard us haaaaa. Urm yeah then it really pissed it down like a lot a lot and we had to pack up our shit and go home. Yeah and that was my Reading Festival in a nut shell. It was fucking amazing and I wanna do it all over again.
Maybe with more sex though.


20 Fun Products You Never Knew You Needed

I need the minion thing!


friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay




This is something I can imagine George saying.